The Whims of a Madman

I remember how cold the studio got last winter. I began keeping horse blankets in the trunk of my car, knowing a jacket wouldn't always suffice.

Joseph and I secretly planned to co-write and record a song to give Rocco for his birthday, but really, it was an excuse to spend time together alone. Just the two of us. My heart pounded as I walked up the ramp to the iron gate, just as it had for months and months. Anytime he knew I was coming, he'd leave the glass door unlocked and I'd push gently, quietly, hoping to catch him by surprise. Every time he laid eyes on me, I could see his composure fracture as his heart skipped a beat, and I always struggled to contain my identical reaction. We were magnets that fought to repel the attracting force, but were always drawn together at precisely the same moment. We were both shocked by the crackling electricity that led to hugs that led to quivering breath that led to touching and eroticism unparalleled by any other sexual experiences either of us had had to date.

Yes, the kissing was intense and perfect. Yes, our bodies fit together as though they had been made specifically for one another. Yes, I replayed those scenes in my head long after they had initially taken place, and to this day, he is the best lover I've ever had, the only person I fantasize about. It was the other stuff, though, that meant the most.

We sketched funny pictures together in his production notebook, laughing at our mutual inability to draw people of the opposite sex. When I began playing the piano, he sat behind me on the bench, his legs on either side of my legs, and slid his hands beneath my hands. I giggled uncontrollably as his fingers flew across the keys, my palms riding piggyback on the whims of a madman.

It took all of ten minutes to co-write Rocco's song, ten more minutes to record it. I replay my copy of it from time to time and am brought rushing back to those cold nights in that dimly lit studio, falling deeper in love with my future while running further away from my past.

Pretentious Indie Song of the Day: